tis the season...

...for bicycle accidents???

most days humanity's ignorance angers me into wanting to scream (or actually screaming, instead of just 'wanting' to) but there are those few days when the stupidity goes so above and beyond that i'm not angered at all, just severely irrated, so much to render me speechless...

riding to the post office, most days i ride the street since i have my road bike, but yesterday i chose to ride a more leisurely pace, so i hopped on my guy's bike (which is still somewhat in the process of being built--handlebars need to be cut down and have grips put on them...) and rode the sidewalk down. this should have made all motorists happy, since normally they're screaming at me to get out of the road (assholes) but, alas, one can never win in a small town...

i get to my intersection before the post office, there is a car waiting for traffic in the crosswalk (typical) so i opt on going behind this woman in her nice suv, so that "i won't be in anyone's way" (although she's obviously in mine, and any other pedestrian's)...but i digress...

she sees she is in my way and starts to pull out into traffic, so i start to go straight across the walk...until she stops short, and my (well, technically, my guy's) handlebars are in her tail light, along with my hand...and then i see her reverse lights come on...panic...so i hit her vehicle to let her know i'm still there...HELLO! stangely, my hand that went through the light is fine, but my arm took the impact...

she doesn't get out of her car, or roll down the window, she just keeps makin an apologetic face, so i say "i thought you were going...you shouldn't have stopped" and she asked if i was okay...now i can't be angry and scream at her stupidity...just be annoyed by it...and say nothing...

so here's the lesson, if you've already raced up into the crosswalk, just stay there, we'll go around you (although i will admit, if i'm in a mood i'll walk in front of you, instead of behind! muwahahaha!) and once you start pulling out into traffic, commit to it! or else you'll end up with a broken taillight too!
and i end up with an extremely sore arm...

bakery tales; part 1

The consumer is rarely right.

at least in the story of bakery life.

now i know why bakers get a reputation of being assholes, you HAVE to be.



rule of thumb, if someone's coming into a bakery they're (at least semi)wealthy, otherwise they'd be buying their bakery from giant eagle. no, people come in to get specialty items, meaning they have the money to spend and the attitude that goes with any ignorant rich jerk who think they know everything about everything. one woman even went so far as to call herself a 'cake connoissuer' whatever-you're a stay at home mom, with too much money and time on your hands, and not enough adult interaction. i don't want to hear about how much you know about cake, or cinnamon rolls, or whatever. if you knew so much you'd be making them at home. not buying them from us.



really, the job isn't as bad as it sounds. it's fantastic really. i mean what could be better than making sweets all day. exactly-nothing. but some days, people can really make you wonder how the human race has survived this long.



example: (true story)

bride calls during her bridal shower, says she's worried about the wedding cake b/c her shower cake is turning everyone's teeth blue.

us: "you ordered blue frosting for your bridal cake"

her:" i'm worried my wedding guests will be walking around with blue teeth"

we dig out her file;

us: "you ordered white frosting on your wedding cake"

silence for like 10 seconds

her: "but if this cake turned their teeth blue, will my wedding cake??"

us: "your bridal cake is blue, that's why their teeth are blue, it's food coloring , your wedding cake is not blue, it is white"

and it went on like this...until either she figured it out, or was too confused to argue anymore....i just don't even know what to say to this...

i've never seen this bride, but i hope that she is drop dead gorgeous, considering she obviously has NO brains. her beauty must be why whoever is marrying her is sticking around, b/c talking to her was like talking to a brick wall...

best wishes on a long and fruitful marriage--i think she'll need it!

Alaska's Independence Day

so palin resigned. of course she plays the usual republican game and won't give an answer why.
at first i thought maybe it was b/c we all found out how much of alaska's taxpayers money was going to her and her family's personal use, like her wardrobe, plane rides, ect. but no, i hear even worse rumors, that she may be quitting to put all of her energy into prepping for the presidency in 2012.
really? was that a good idea? hopefully others see, once a quitter, always a quitter, if she leaves early from being a governor, will she duck out early from the white house (IF she even got in) when the going gets tough???
she was never qualified for ANY of this, she needs to tuck tail, admit defeat and stay hidden from politics. she was only selected by mccain b/c she's a female, and mccain wanted the woman majority. well, we saw through it! we're not ignorant. he selected a beauty queen who hates women so much she thinks we shouldn't have a choice with our own body! she's beauty first and brains second, so that men would drool, and women would be duped. well, we weren't. and we won't be fooled this time either.
just give it a break palin.
your publicity stunts don't hide the fact that you're under qualifed to lead america. we need a REAL woman!

endless black sky

we were discussing how we skipped decades. how we went from drunk and outrageous to wanting to sit on a front porch swing and till the garden.
today i feel it even more, or i know i will feel it even more when we go to the conor oberst show and there's going to be 500 screeching teeny-boppers that will annoy the fuck out of me. i still say we scalp the tickets, come home, and go for a bike ride. not that i won't love to see a good show, but we're going to have to listen to the crummy bands before, listen to drunk assholes, and stand the entire time, then come home late...

what am i? like 80 or something?

i was walking to the bakery shoppe today for a bagel and almost turned around to yell at noisy kids, it was like nails on a chalkboard. they were screaming at people driving by in cars, and just screaming around in general, it echoed through my skull like a jackhammer

i want to go back home to the porch and my mutt.

we need to move out of this shithole, if i hear another fight tonight i swear i'm getting out of bed and beating the shit out of everyone involved, i don't care the situation. you don't start fights and scream when it's past midnight to wake up the whole goddamn neighborhood. it's just not polite. and i'm a stickler for etiquette...ha! at least they weren't slamming doors in the hall this time...just squealing their tires...but at least then i know they're gone.

today's so dreary. where's my summer????
everyone's dying and the days are dark
i'm sure of it
the apocolypse has arrived

the reality of the matter...

i like how everyone did nothing but talk shit about micheal jackson, about what a child molester he was, about how his face was falling apart, about holding his child off a balcony, about everything everywhere in the tabloids; but as soon as he dies FB is covered in "RIP MICHEAL JACKSON!" or "MICHEAL JACKSON: YOU WILL BE MISSED"

it's bullshit. yeah, we got it, you're up on your current events, so is the rest of the goddamn world. i hate it when celebrities die, because somehow their death is more important than anyone else's. my grandpa died the same day, yesterday, and no one's making a big deal about that. people die, and it sucks. i do understand celebrities bring alot to our lives in different artistic manners, but to talk shit about a guy for the past 10 years, and then all of a sudden worship him, download all his music, and youtube every video he's ever made.

i can spell hippocrite. how about you???

"illusion is the first of all pleasures"

and then you wake up
only to realize your life for the past year is killing you slowly, and stealing your sanity...
...when i never had much sanity to begin with...


well, today i actually feel it. it only felt like a weekend off, but now i feel the relief of not going back to the coffee shop ever again...it's like i've lost 10lbs...
10lbs of stress, anxiety, hatred, depression, confusion and guilt and balled into one lump i kept in the back of my throat, but couldn't swallow. well, now it's swallowed, digested, and passed through...the perfect metaphor for Cool Beans Cafe: a piece of shit.

intimidation isn't a safe work environment. how do you take the best job ever and turn it into a nightmare??? i never realized i worked with a child, a spoiled child at that, who throws tantrums when they don't get their way. i suppose i'll be able to recognize the symptoms and signs next time, and save myself, instead of throwing myself into the pit of fire, where i just kept clawing at nothing, until realization hit, and i grasped ahold, pulling myself out of the pit of hell. i'm a little singed, slightly scarred, but my sanity has started to take back over, and my head isn't spinning anymore.

if not for my beaner girls, i think i'd be in an asylum...

karma's going to bite her in the ass

petition to sterilize the human race...

this woman comes into the coffee shop everyday, either to the big store or the drive thru across the street, but every day she gets her mocha. this lady is quite chatty and likes to tell me all about her life/family/job/anything/EVERYTHING that i don't care about. like how her son who is in middle school is ADD, how he got suspended for "stalking" a girl...and things of that nature, and then she buys him a medium coffee before he goes to school today

does this seem off to you? are you picking up on this? her son doesn't have ADD at all...she just ships him off to school every day on a caffeine kick...a cup of coffee has me buzzing around, let alone a 12 yr. old boy


WTF is wrong with people??? she was having him takes meds today for his "ADD" then feeding a cup of coffee!!!



on another note completely....some dickhead stole my debit card number and is spending money in israel

isn't life grande....